September was National Suicide Prevention Month, I went outside my usual A Bubbly Life content and shared a post on surviving suicidal ideation. . I hope it is helpful to anyone who needs it and please share if you know of someone who might need it. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-273-8255- The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Unfortunately, my mental health has not been the greatest lately and I am not in a positive mood about it (duh). I’ve had a handful of low episodes and trouble coming out of the spiral when I am exposed to triggers and we are still figuring out medication. I wish I had something positive to say, part of sharing my journey is I feel responsibility/pressure to share “this sucks. but i will be ok”. I think and I hope that I will be ok? I’m exhausted though. The weight gain from the first anti-depressant is demoralizing and another negative mental space I do not need. But working hard during pregnancy to stay fit and shedding all weight from having 3 babies to gain a ton while working so hard at being fit is frustrating to say the least. Trying on another pair of jeans yesterday that no longer fit just makes me want to punch something, ha.
And now, the happier side of life, the gratitude and love <3
September 4th was our 15 year wedding anniversary and for the first time, I shared our first wedding photos. Nick and I were married about 5 months before our big wedding with friends and family. Nick had already proposed and we were planning on getting married in February. But, he was in the Army, so in order for us to be able to live together, we had to be married, so we did a quickie ceremony when Nick got some leave on labor day weekend. For some reason, I threw on a purple dress, not sure why I chose that dress haha and we got married. I bawled after saying I do. It was sweet and I moved to Monterey, CA and we started our married life. We typically do not celebrate this wedding date much because…
September is also OUR BIRTHDAY MONTHS!! Nick’s is the 5th and mine is the 10th. We had a big celebration, my best friend flew out from NYC, my girlfriend drove down from Cali and about 25 of us went to karaoke and it took me a week to recover haha. It was so much fun and there were a few videos on other people’s stories of my singing, lol. I did not share any. I love to sing but I cannot sing well, AT ALL.
Cole has reached a super dramatic, we have ruined his life, stage of having a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way, our girls never did this and honestly, it is pretty funny how dramatic he is. I know he is testing boundaries etc and I ignore it (giving in will just teach him that is a way to get stuff) I instead, laugh and take pictures. I am not sure what kind of mother that makes me.
The one above is from Trader Joe’s because I threw away his sample spoon when it fell on floor. I also have “you cannot eat dog food fit” “i apparently put the wrong shoes on him and he wanted a different pair fit” “you cannot throw toys in the toilet fit” and many more
Also, he is still an angel cherub around everyone else, he saves these fun tantrums for Nick and I. He is 20 months now and I cannot believe he is closer to 2. I am taking it all a lot harder because he is the last baby. I am gonna lose it when he starts preschool…
What I wore:
We stayed at the Scott resort for my birthday weekend and we chilled by the pool.
L Space Bikini top (I love it) The detail on the back is so cute! Beach Hat Hair by Drybar (I got it done midday for the night, so I actually couldn’t swim & just sat by pool while others swam, which was annoying ha)
L Space coverup?L Space coverup? I wear it as a romper with a tank underneath. I really love this too and think I am realizing I must really like L Space.
Rebacca Minkhoff Purse (I could only find it in my color online)
See ya next month!
Hi! I think I was led to this page by divine intervention I was looking for a quote that said “leaving on a jet plane” and came across your blog! Thanks for sharing your struggle! I was there 3 years ago after having my second baby and being on and off medication for 10 years to treat anxiety and depression. I remember sitting on my shower floor, tears streaming, wanting to run away and not feeling worthy of the family I had, so overcome by guilt for having these irrational thoughts. The lows were not fun but you aren’t alone and you can overcome
It! Would love to chat more! I’ll leave my email and I have something I’d love to send you to give you encouragement!