Secret Mom Behaviors- Kinda Like Secret Single Behaviors But Worse- Children are Involved!

The New York
recently made waves with an article
on the quirky habits people develop after living alone for a while. Years
earlier, Sex and the City had an
episode dedicated to these quirky, often embarrassing habits-  otherwise known as secret single
behavior.  My lifestyle is now a
far cry from the singlehood described in The New York Times and Sex and the City but alas, secret quirky behavior has not left.  I now have “Secret Mom Behaviors”.  No, I do not mean the kind in which you
fill a sippy cup with wine and hide it in your diaper bag.  I mean the embarrassing actions you do
with (or to) your kids that you may or may not even let your husband see.  I have a few I am willing to share
I sing.  I sing a lot.
read all the research on developing vocabulary in babies- talk out loud while
doing everyday activities, talk while you are in another room and let them know
you are still there, etc. 
Apparently, I have decided to SING instead. Why do I sing and not
talk?  I have no idea, I picked up
the habit after giving birth. 
Sadly, I am not at ALL creative- “Momma’s taking a shower, da da
de dah,  Momma’s taking a shower,
Cuz she smells so bad…”
I am fairly certain the researchers
did not intend for me to let my baby girl think I smell, or encourage that kind
of language in her sponge like mind, whoops.
Dance Party All The Time!
This actually was
a secret single behavior, then secret husband-is-out-of-town behavior and now
as a Mom I have a partner- whew hoo- dance party 24-7!!  We jam to Rhianna, Pink, GLEE and other
ridiculous pop music- she giggles, laughs and points (hmm… is she laughing AT
me or with me?) Add another Mom fail to the list- bad vocabulary and cheezy pop
music. Sorry baby girl, Mozart just is not that fun to dance to.
Photo Shoots (Not the Good
I hesitate to
write this one and perhaps should keep it a secret from world, but cest la vie… (How is THAT
for vocabulary, researchers??) Everyone loves taking pictures of their kids,
especially their first.  But… I
may take it a little too far…
●      Bunny
ears from the 99cent store?  Yes,
●      Funny
mustache sticker above her lip? 
Hell yeah!
●      Stick
hair straight up like she was shocked- (Um… YES! sorry baby girl…)

I do not share
these kind of photos on Facebook or with family- ahem *Secret Mom Behavior*.
Perhaps, one day when my baby girl is older and wondering why she sings outloud
during her mundane activities, shakes her booty at any pop song on the radio- I
will show her these photos and apologize- “Sorry honey, you had a nut bag of
a Momma, but she sure does love you oodles”.

Well, those are
the only three behaviors I am willing to share! I will leave you with one of my
favorite songs before I go- The New York Times quotes a woman in the article: “I never, ever close the
bathroom door.”
  Well singletons, neither do I – but while I am in there you
can hear me singing loudly- “Momma’s gotta pee, la de dah da,  Momma’s gotta pee”. 
Do you have a
secret Mom behavior**?  Maybe you
like your baby’s food and eat it? Chew their food & stick it in their mouth a la Alicia Silverstone? Or dress them in Daddy’s clothes for fun?

**I say Mom because that is what I am- I am sure lots of Dads have these too, so please share them! BUT, I don’t really want to know that my husband’s secret behavior is how high he can throw Kalia in the air and catch her. I suspect this is one of his, but, I rather live in ignorance.

Linked to Finding the Funny! Check out other funny Mom posts!
Hanging out at Yeah Write! 
Mommy Brain Mixer

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  1. Oh – what a lucky child you have! And such great blackmail pis – just in case you ever need them… 🙂

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

  2. Emily Cook says:

    obviously I have been smiling about your post all day… it is good to have found another crazy mama!

    But tell me, have you been crazy enough to modify entire songs?

    and also

    Now if i could only find someone willing to sing them for me and put it on you tube…

    • Laurel says:

      Lol, I can't say tht I have done that, Emily. But giveme time, she's only nine and a half months, I think I have a lot of crazy waiting for me, lol.

  3. Gia says:

    Hahaha I can't wait to learn what weird things I'm going to do now that I live alone! Exciting.

  4. christina says:

    🙂 these are all little things that make being a mama so much fun! because we CAN do them. 😉

  5. I sing and dance too! My kids loved it when they were babies. Now the older ones are trying to get me to stop…I don't think so!

  6. carrie says:

    Bahahahah….I have earthquake drills…

    I scream a siren sound and shout "Earthquake, earthquake" and then the kids duck and cover…

    We are in an earthquake prone zone though…but I do it because it's fun to watch the kids scramble while their totally engrossed in some other activity LOL.

  7. Bill Dameron says:

    I send the kids text messages every Friday quoting Rebecca Black's "It's Friday" song. This drives them crazy. I make them watch me play Dance Central and probably the worst Dad behavior? I make them fetch me a beer….But, my kids are older…

    • Laurel says:

      Texting- it is a whole new method of embarrassing kids now!
      Fetching a beer is a great idea, I just do not think she has the motor skills yet (and well, she cannot walk, lol)

  8. Haha, I loved this!
    I am definitely a silly picture taker, but I plaster them all over facebook. Possibly because all of my family lives on the other side of the Country, but it's also possibly just because I want to make sure there a lot of copies out there to embarrass him with at his wedding. 😉
    Great post!

  9. Hi,thanks so much for linking up the Mommy Brain mixer! Funny!!! Love your secret life!! My secret behavior is to steal my kids' chocolates!! 😛

  10. Sara says:

    Stopping by from the mixer. I have secret dance parties too! Katy Perry is our favorite to dance to.

  11. I can't think of a secret act that I do right now off the top of my head. However, I do find that her pacifer is all the time ending up in my mouth.

  12. S says:

    We have dance party every night while I cook dinner. I made up a song for my son that goes, "Who's my chunky? Who's my hunky? Who's my monkey little man?" And I may or may not have a photo of my daughter wearing nothing but a winter hat, sunglasses, a pull-up, and sneakers.

    You are most definitely not alone. And I sure am glad to know that I'm not alone, too.

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