The New York
Times recently made waves with an article
on the quirky habits people develop after living alone for a while. Years
earlier, Sex and the City had an
episode dedicated to these quirky, often embarrassing habits- otherwise known as secret single
behavior. My lifestyle is now a
far cry from the singlehood described in The New York Times and Sex and the City but alas, secret quirky behavior has not left. I now have “Secret Mom Behaviors”. No, I do not mean the kind in which you
fill a sippy cup with wine and hide it in your diaper bag. I mean the embarrassing actions you do
with (or to) your kids that you may or may not even let your husband see. I have a few I am willing to share
today.
Times recently made waves with an article
on the quirky habits people develop after living alone for a while. Years
earlier, Sex and the City had an
episode dedicated to these quirky, often embarrassing habits- otherwise known as secret single
behavior. My lifestyle is now a
far cry from the singlehood described in The New York Times and Sex and the City but alas, secret quirky behavior has not left. I now have “Secret Mom Behaviors”. No, I do not mean the kind in which you
fill a sippy cup with wine and hide it in your diaper bag. I mean the embarrassing actions you do
with (or to) your kids that you may or may not even let your husband see. I have a few I am willing to share
today.
I sing. I sing a lot.
I
read all the research on developing vocabulary in babies- talk out loud while
doing everyday activities, talk while you are in another room and let them know
you are still there, etc.
Apparently, I have decided to SING instead. Why do I sing and not
talk? I have no idea, I picked up
the habit after giving birth.
Sadly, I am not at ALL creative- “Momma’s taking a shower, da da
de dah, Momma’s taking a shower,
Cuz she smells so bad…”
read all the research on developing vocabulary in babies- talk out loud while
doing everyday activities, talk while you are in another room and let them know
you are still there, etc.
Apparently, I have decided to SING instead. Why do I sing and not
talk? I have no idea, I picked up
the habit after giving birth.
Sadly, I am not at ALL creative- “Momma’s taking a shower, da da
de dah, Momma’s taking a shower,
Cuz she smells so bad…”
I am fairly certain the researchers
did not intend for me to let my baby girl think I smell, or encourage that kind
of language in her sponge like mind, whoops.
did not intend for me to let my baby girl think I smell, or encourage that kind
of language in her sponge like mind, whoops.
Dance Party All The Time!
This actually was
a secret single behavior, then secret husband-is-out-of-town behavior and now
as a Mom I have a partner- whew hoo- dance party 24-7!! We jam to Rhianna, Pink, GLEE and other
ridiculous pop music- she giggles, laughs and points (hmm… is she laughing AT
me or with me?) Add another Mom fail to the list- bad vocabulary and cheezy pop
music. Sorry baby girl, Mozart just is not that fun to dance to.
a secret single behavior, then secret husband-is-out-of-town behavior and now
as a Mom I have a partner- whew hoo- dance party 24-7!! We jam to Rhianna, Pink, GLEE and other
ridiculous pop music- she giggles, laughs and points (hmm… is she laughing AT
me or with me?) Add another Mom fail to the list- bad vocabulary and cheezy pop
music. Sorry baby girl, Mozart just is not that fun to dance to.
Photo Shoots (Not the Good
Kind)
Kind)
I hesitate to
write this one and perhaps should keep it a secret from world, but c‘est la vie… (How is THAT
for vocabulary, researchers??) Everyone loves taking pictures of their kids,
especially their first. But… I
may take it a little too far…
write this one and perhaps should keep it a secret from world, but c‘est la vie… (How is THAT
for vocabulary, researchers??) Everyone loves taking pictures of their kids,
especially their first. But… I
may take it a little too far…
● Bunny
ears from the 99cent store? Yes,
please.
ears from the 99cent store? Yes,
please.
● Funny
mustache sticker above her lip?
Hell yeah!
mustache sticker above her lip?
Hell yeah!
● Stick
hair straight up like she was shocked- (Um… YES! sorry baby girl…)
hair straight up like she was shocked- (Um… YES! sorry baby girl…)
I do not share
these kind of photos on Facebook or with family- ahem *Secret Mom Behavior*.
Perhaps, one day when my baby girl is older and wondering why she sings outloud
during her mundane activities, shakes her booty at any pop song on the radio- I
will show her these photos and apologize- “Sorry honey, you had a nut bag of
a Momma, but she sure does love you oodles”.
these kind of photos on Facebook or with family- ahem *Secret Mom Behavior*.
Perhaps, one day when my baby girl is older and wondering why she sings outloud
during her mundane activities, shakes her booty at any pop song on the radio- I
will show her these photos and apologize- “Sorry honey, you had a nut bag of
a Momma, but she sure does love you oodles”.
Well, those are
the only three behaviors I am willing to share! I will leave you with one of my
favorite songs before I go- The New York Times quotes a woman in the article: “I never, ever close the
bathroom door.” Well singletons, neither do I – but while I am in there you
can hear me singing loudly- “Momma’s gotta pee, la de dah da, Momma’s gotta pee”.
the only three behaviors I am willing to share! I will leave you with one of my
favorite songs before I go- The New York Times quotes a woman in the article: “I never, ever close the
bathroom door.” Well singletons, neither do I – but while I am in there you
can hear me singing loudly- “Momma’s gotta pee, la de dah da, Momma’s gotta pee”.
Do you have a
secret Mom behavior**? Maybe you
like your baby’s food and eat it? Chew their food & stick it in their mouth a la Alicia Silverstone? Or dress them in Daddy’s clothes for fun?
Or….?
secret Mom behavior**? Maybe you
like your baby’s food and eat it? Chew their food & stick it in their mouth a la Alicia Silverstone? Or dress them in Daddy’s clothes for fun?
Or….?
**I say Mom because that is what I am- I am sure lots of Dads have these too, so please share them! BUT, I don’t really want to know that my husband’s secret behavior is how high he can throw Kalia in the air and catch her. I suspect this is one of his, but, I rather live in ignorance.
Linked to Finding the Funny! Check out other funny Mom posts!
Hanging out at Yeah Write!
Mommy Brain Mixer
Oh – what a lucky child you have! And such great blackmail pis – just in case you ever need them… 🙂
Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!
Thank you Anna!! Also, thanks for the link party, so glad I found it today!
obviously I have been smiling about your post all day… it is good to have found another crazy mama!
But tell me, have you been crazy enough to modify entire songs?
http://www.weakandloved.com/2011/12/i-put-my-own-words-to-this-song-some.html
and also
http://www.weakandloved.com/2012/01/taylor-swift-my-crazy-life-this-song.html
Now if i could only find someone willing to sing them for me and put it on you tube…
Lol, I can't say tht I have done that, Emily. But giveme time, she's only nine and a half months, I think I have a lot of crazy waiting for me, lol.
Hahaha I can't wait to learn what weird things I'm going to do now that I live alone! Exciting.
LOL, do not keep them secret, you must make funny comics on them!
🙂 these are all little things that make being a mama so much fun! because we CAN do them. 😉
Thank you Christina, these moments are definitely the fun parts!
I sing and dance too! My kids loved it when they were babies. Now the older ones are trying to get me to stop…I don't think so!
LOL, yeah I will never stop!
Bahahahah….I have earthquake drills…
I scream a siren sound and shout "Earthquake, earthquake" and then the kids duck and cover…
We are in an earthquake prone zone though…but I do it because it's fun to watch the kids scramble while their totally engrossed in some other activity LOL.
LOL, that is awesome, Carrie, I think I will steal this for when she is older.
I send the kids text messages every Friday quoting Rebecca Black's "It's Friday" song. This drives them crazy. I make them watch me play Dance Central and probably the worst Dad behavior? I make them fetch me a beer….But, my kids are older…
Texting- it is a whole new method of embarrassing kids now!
Fetching a beer is a great idea, I just do not think she has the motor skills yet (and well, she cannot walk, lol)
Haha, I loved this!
I am definitely a silly picture taker, but I plaster them all over facebook. Possibly because all of my family lives on the other side of the Country, but it's also possibly just because I want to make sure there a lot of copies out there to embarrass him with at his wedding. 😉
Great post!
Thank you Dawn! I have so many blackmail pictures, but I cannot help it- too cute!!
Hi,thanks so much for linking up the Mommy Brain mixer! Funny!!! Love your secret life!! My secret behavior is to steal my kids' chocolates!! 😛
Stopping by from the mixer. I have secret dance parties too! Katy Perry is our favorite to dance to.
I can't think of a secret act that I do right now off the top of my head. However, I do find that her pacifer is all the time ending up in my mouth.
We have dance party every night while I cook dinner. I made up a song for my son that goes, "Who's my chunky? Who's my hunky? Who's my monkey little man?" And I may or may not have a photo of my daughter wearing nothing but a winter hat, sunglasses, a pull-up, and sneakers.
You are most definitely not alone. And I sure am glad to know that I'm not alone, too.