Where are My Freaking Keys!?

A common argument (or, as I like to call them- a loud discussion) in our household begins with- “Where are my freaking keys?”

The question is usually aimed towards me.  The other day my husband got more than his usual average “annoyed-ness” at me regarding it, thus it led to a discussion that went along the lines of:

Nick: Why don’t you put your freaking keys in the bowl by the door?

Me:  When I walk in the house,  I have Kalia, 3 or 4 bags and tons of other crap in my hands and teeth(doesnt he read my blog?)  I just drop everything when I walk in!  (I may or may not have used my outside voice to say this)

Nick: Well, maybe if you put them in the bowl, we wouldn’t have this discussion nearly everyday.

Me:  Aww, thank you honey, I am not sure what I would do without you- the KEY bowl, that IS a helpful tip.  (I may or may not have said this with complete sarcasm)  

I proceed to ignore him, muttering something about getting organization tips from the man who strips when he walks in the door leaving a trail of his clothes from the garage door to wherever he ends up in the house.  He, unfortunately, overhears-

Nick- I leave a trail in case you need to find me! If you left a trail for your keys, you would never lose them. (he, too, is well versed at sarcasm)

I find my keys, leave and decide not to tell him that instead of the bowl, I have a really GREAT spot to put my keys (that may or may not include his ass)

Two Days Later-
I, am again, looking for my keys. However, Nick had just driven my car to take Kalia to pick out her Easter Bunny and grabbed my keys.
By the way, she chose this guy:

Image via my Instagram
It is not a bunny, it is holding a candy cane and I think those eyes are peering into my soul *shudder*
Anyhoo, new discussion begins:

Me: Nick, where are my keys?  They are not in the precious key holding bowl. (sarcasm is a dear friend in our house)

Nick: Did you see me when I walked in?? (outside voice) All the bags I was carrying and Kalia…

He trailed off and got quieter til he was silent, because I was staring at him with a huge grin…

You know what doesn’t suck?  Being the other half in the argument who is RIGHT! 
Since I am not one to say I am right, I just kept smiling, found my keys, left on my errands and dedicate an entire blog post to my “rightness”.
Love you honey!

Awesome photo via someecards

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  1. ellysan1 says:

    We actually have one of those brass key hangers. It is full of keys and key chains. But I have no clue what keys are on it and none of them are for my house or car.

  2. Michelle says:

    Sounds like my house, down to the bowl by the door that my keys are never, ever in. They usually wind up in the silverware drawer, because I use them to lock the car through the kitchen window before I put down whatever I've just had to haul inside.

  3. EARTH2BODY says:

    Hi. Love your humor! We can TOTALLY relate. We'll be following you on Twitter and looking forward to more laughs.

    earth2body sisters
    wendy & lisa

    check us out too!

  4. Sparkling says:

    Great post and I salute you for dedicating a whole post to your being rightness. Found you at finding the funny.

  5. Julie says:

    ha ha! I lost my keys a week ago today and have pulled the house apart! Can't find them anywhere! I posted it on my facebook page and my fans gave me places to look too…but nothing!! GRRRRR….

    thanks for sharing!

  6. Shell says:

    Ha! I love when men realize how hard it is to do everything when we are in charge of the kids!

  7. MonkeyMomma says:

    I can so relate to wondering "where are my freaking keys?" I lose them about 3 times a day along with my phone and my sanity.

  8. Gia says:

    Hahaha, oh the satisfaction (for you…)

  9. Mine are usually in my purse. I can never find them there. And I hope you enjoyed that moment. And milked it.

  10. I'm often wrong in arguments with my husband, but I will never admit it. If only fanny packs were in style. What an awesome place to keep keys.

  11. Our keys are always missing and we have the exact same argument. Never fails! And then the finger pointing starts…glad we're not the only ones!

  12. Hahah! Even more than being right, I love it when my husband has to experience first hand something I've been talking about when I KNOW he doesn't think it's a big deal – until it happens to him 🙂 Loved this post. I think you are right about that stuffed animal though…those eyes….

    • Laurel says:

      Oh, I love that too and I am sure as she gets older it will happen more often.
      Yes, this animal creeps me out, I am trying to convince my dog to chew it and she wont- definite sign of evil.

  13. Jackie says:

    Sweet satisfaction!

  14. Right on! A blog post to your vindication! Gotta love that, and I do!

  15. TriGirl says:

    Oh, the sweet taste of victory! I bet you're still riding that high 🙂

  16. Janice Trinh says:

    We used to have this kind of dialogue in my house too. Then we got a "designated key spot." Now it only happens once in a while. When it does, we turn to our toddler and ask her where the keys are. 99% of the time, she knows.

  17. jamie says:

    I have to LOL, seriously. I think I heard the clinking of glasses to celebrate your victory 😉

  18. Sandra Crook says:

    I can identify with this. The 'key' conversation is a regular in our household. I bought a keyholder plaque, but it's become a holder for spare keys of every size and type, none of which we recognise. The door and car keys hang around on the worktop, in pockets, even in the back of doors. Glad you scored here.

    • Laurel says:

      How do we get so many keys like that? We have a drawer with several unknown keys in it. And I have an odd paranoia that I may need one someday, so I will not throw any away.

  19. Love the description of walking into the house using everything including your teeth. LOL

  20. Christie says:

    Despite a key hook, I can never, ever find my keys! And don't you just love when you're right?!?

  21. The eecard is priceless! Really. I have five kids and a husband who can be just as absentminded as them, so the key argument feels like our own form of family sport. When my son starts driving, that might take us over the edge. Funny. Erin

  22. Jen says:

    *snicker* I am often accused of hiding things when they are not visiable to the naked eye.

  23. Patty says:

    Oh puleeeze…welcome to my life!

    Last week, for instance…His Hineyness…"I can't find my glasses" and I deliberately let him wander around for like 5 minutes before I told him he was wearing the dayum things!

    Would you believe that a few weeks ago, he left for work carrying the remote for the television? Trust me, even I can't make this stuff up!

    Loved this post!!

  24. robyn says:

    I love this post! We have a very similar daily discussion about the baby's pacifier, but not usually until after the baby is half asleep. We've gotten really good at whispered sarcasm.

  25. HAHA! Ok, as a general rule, I don't post a link to my own blog when I'm commenting on others… but I have to in this case. It's another classic "Oh, eff, I'm wrong" moment by a hubby:

    Thanks for sharing, I love to smirk at hubbies now and then. 😉

  26. how would we properly gloat if we didn't blog?? hehe.

  27. Delilah Love says:

    That is an awesome moment of righteousness, isn't it? We have those "discussions" all the time at my house. I am, of course, always right. And also, I am the only one with a blog so I get to bask in my rightness often. Haha!

  28. I am so cheering for you right now! Congrats!

  29. I always do that, and my husband gets very mad at me. He really hates it when I leave them in the front door…..overnight.

  30. Kristin says:

    Unfortunately, I've been on the sucky side more often than not. Now…where are my freaking keys?

  31. not only have you made me laugh, you've made me realize why we blog: to celebrate our rightness so that we don't have to do the "hahahahaha" dance around our partners. HA.

  32. Ha! This made me want to cheer. Any victory for one wife is a victory for us all. YAY for winnin gthe argument 🙂

  33. Turnabout is fair play. Congrats on the victory 🙂

  34. Anonymous says:

    Electronic key finder? Sounds like you would get your money's worth, snicker..

  35. susan says:

    OMW! we've had this "loud discussion" too.

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